The days he let himself actually think about it, yeah. Most days he didn't, because it was such a topic of upset, and there wasn't even really anyone to tell or help. And now suddenly Dirk knew, and it made Jake a little sick inside to know Dirk knew, but all the while he'd always wanted someone to know, because he felt like if someone knew he wasn't entirely alone in being wrong.

He quieted slowly, tired out and comfortable, in the barest sense of the word that he was warm and held by someone who cared. Comfortable was rarely a word he could use to describe himself.