Jake english (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shitknickers) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
burning_smile2013-01-22 09:52 pm
shitknickers) wrote in burning_smile2013-01-22 09:52 pm
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This is a generic Jakepost to reply to. Because the meme post was all Jake and has some inconceivable amount of comments now so it doesn't like to load. Have at, my lovelies.
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There was a distinct guilty shame when he came to, and for a while he couldn't quite place why. The longer he was awake once he was himself, though, the more things slowly wandered back to him. One of the sprites, the pink one that followed Roxy around-- Fefeta, he believed her name was? --had exploded. The explosion itself had taken place after a similar outburst in verbal form from Dirk, when he'd joined the rest of them in their candy-covered insanity.
In the end, Dirk had been the one to break off their relationship.
Jake had never felt like more of a coward in his life. He had considered pestering the blonde, asking him if he were all right, but it seemed a moot point. Possibly hypocritical. And knowing Dirk, knowing he was hurt, he probably would lash out by pointedly not responding to prove a point to Jake. That point being that it wasn't okay to ignore someone when that someone was worried about you, but it had been done anyway.
So he wandered. LOTAK was actually a wonderful planet to traverse, especially in the mindset Jake was currently plagued with. His feet pounding the pavement made him feel like he had a purpose, but his quiet self-loathing was periodically sated by the skeletal consort-beasts that regularly turned up in small swarms for him to shoot at. So likely, Dirk could hear him coming.
When Jake finally saw the small figure where he was perched, he gave a small sigh of relief and sagged where he stood. Now the easy part was over. He ascended to his friend (were they even friends anymore?) and stood a good ways from him, within his line of sight, before inviting himself any closer.
"If you'd rather I go I can," he began. "But I figured I've made enough of an arse of myself by not speaking with you, so perhaps it was time I allowed my balls to drop and stopped avoiding the issue."
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You see, Jake English had been born Jacoba English, and held the anatomical sex of a female.
And this had been all fine and dandy for a while. Sure, Jacoba had never felt particularly girlish, and skirts had never been a thing anyone could convince him to wear, not even Jade. But it hadn't really been an issue until puberty started up, and boobs started happening. Jake didn't really care for boobs. They got in the way. So when they started being more than mosquito bites, he started binding them flat. And it had mostly continued in this fashion. Jake had never been a terribly vocal creature about gender or traditional gender roles, and with a grandmother like Jade he had never seen the point in girls having to be girly and frilly. Anyone could be whoever they wanted to be. Just like Jade had said. He could feel like whatever he wanted to feel like.
So he chose to feel like a boy.
And it had been sort of scary, to make friends on the internet and tell them he was a boy. Because as a preteen, he'd still not really understood. Was he a boy? Was he a girl? It didn't really matter, did it? His grandmother had called him Jake since he was a tot, so he'd just introduced himself as such, and not really even had to give people anything more. "Jake" was a boy's name, after all.
Of course, things got a little harder when it came to his best friend. Gender had once again never been a thing that came up-- Dirk wasn't one for labels, anyway, Jake was nearly certain he wouldn't care. But... then there had come the whole concept of feelings. Dirk had confessed that he had a complete unironic not-platonic boner for Jake. And that had served to confuse the everloving fuck out of the teenager. Because there was no doubt in his mind that he liked Dirk pretty well, himself, but... Well, wasn't that going to bring their stark anatomical differences into play?
And then time got away from him, and now Dirk was flying in on a helicopter to visit Jake for an entire frigging month. Jake had kicked himself a little for letting it be a month. There was bound to be something that was going to crop up to make the whole Jake doesn't have a dongle between his legs painfully obvious in that time span. ...Emphasis on the painfully.
But no sense in fretting, now. Dressed to the nines in his favorite ensemble (faded khaki shorts that looked almost grey, a charcoal-grey long-sleeved shirt with a skull design on the front, and an army-green overshirt with the sleeves rolled up, along with his very favorite pair of Jade's combat boots) and with his hair freshly trimmed and his glasses securely on the bridge of his nose, Jake trampled his way down to the landing pad near the water in all his tanned adventuring glory. He waved his arms wildly as the helicopter made contact with the ground, his toothy grin threatening to split his face right in half.
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well it is tagged 'hi ketsu'.
He showed up at the library in another hoodie and pair of shorts, hands jammed in his pockets. One of his boots was partially untied.
"Ready, then, chap?"
never
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Much better.
He scrubbed his hair mostly dry with a towel that he then wrapped around his waist, and Becquerel met him in the hallway with a concerned whine. He crouched down and scritched at the dog's fluffy face.
"Sorry, Bec," he whispered in the darkness. "Must have given you all a scare with that. Hasn't happened in a while." Satisfied that Jake was okay after giving him a good once-over sniff, Bec gurgled in a happy manner and wandered back into Jade's room. Jake stood and made his way carefully to his own bedroom, opening and closing the door carefully. He smiled, happy to see that Dirk was actually sleeping. A pair of boxers later, he was crawling into bed behind Dirk, wasting no time in engulfing him in a hug.
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But Dirk was a huge part of his life, now. They spent most weekends in hotels or Jake's bedroom, and Jake was really starting to settle into the idea of having a sexual best friend. Because that was basically what they were becoming. They were close, but not necessarily romantic, they were friends, but not boyfriends. And since his initial distress over the situation, Jake found himself relatively okay with the setup. His heart still sometimes ached in an uncomfortable way for the Strider, but a desire more than physical affection was generally not enough to compromise or sacrifice what they had.
Which... was a lot of sex, really. But Jake still delighted in little more than taking care of Dirk at every opportunity, in any way he could. So when he came across the robotics nerd slumped in the library in a heavy doze, he shrugged off his sweatshirt (he had taken to carrying extras in his Jeep) and descended with it upon Dirk, his arms draped around his shoulders and his head on his arm. He didn't say anything, in case the contact itself didn't wake him.
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"...your clothes are at the foot of the bed," he muttered, rubbing at his eyes. "Feeling any better?" He was walking around without falling into walls, at least.
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He had grown up in Australia, where everything was bigger and at least 40% more poisonous, he'd broken nearly every bone in his body by the time he was ten and almost never cried about it. He watched scary movies and dramas and read all manner of comics filled with angst and suspense, and took it all with a broad, manic sort of grin. He loved surprises, roller coasters were his favorite adrenaline rush, the kid had gone sky-diving for his eighteenth birthday.
And yet here he was, pale and shaking and bare-bones terrified beyond his wildest nightmares, waiting at a traffic light just after making an extremely illegal u-turn on his way home from class. He'd gotten a phone call from a one Doctor Jenson in regard of his grandmother. She'd been in a car accident, and with Jake being her only next of kin, they needed him to come down as soon as he was able. By this point he had Dirk on speed dial, since he rarely called or texted anyone beyond him and Jade and sometimes Jane and Dirk's friend Roxy, and he just dropped the phone into the passenger's seat on speaker because his hands were shaking too badly to actually hold it. He tried to remember how to breathe.
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"What's this?" he asked.
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He'd used one of Dirk's vibes on him one night, but couldn't muster the interest to get into it himself. He knew Dirk was disappointed, probably, but he hoped that getting him off was enough for the time being. He just didn't have it in him.
Of course... That meant that when he finally moved on to a point in his psyche that he could think about getting riled again, he had a month's worth of celibacy under his belt. He'd been cleaning the house sort of absently when Bec knocked one of the TV remotes onto the floor trying to help, and a silly late-night commercial was all it took. It was cheesy and not even for something he or Dirk would use-- some promotion for a Girl's Gone Wild video --but wow did his blood (and his dick) suddenly remember what it was like to be horny. He was quite glad he was leaving to pick Dirk up from work shortly thereafter, and had shut the TV off and taken a cold shower before going to do so.
And while the cold shower had gotten rid of his boner, he still couldn't take his mind off of what his body suddenly found itself wanting again. His shorts were uncomfortable again within minutes of parking in the lot, and he had to bite his lip to not whine when he saw Dirk plodding out to the Jeep.
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