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[shitknickers]

This is a generic Jakepost to reply to. Because the meme post was all Jake and has some inconceivable amount of comments now so it doesn't like to load. Have at, my lovelies.

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[shitknickers]

Jesus Christ. Jake shouted, reached out and grabbed Dirk around the middle, and carefully pulled him back into a gentle, frightened hug. The volunteer pursed her lips, trying to decide if this was funny, stupid, or just alarming.

"Dirk, stop, you need to rest, the quiz is next class hour and I took notes for you."

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"You can retake it," Jake said, getting frustrated. "Just tell me what class it is, I'll let your professor know you're sick and we'll figure out when you can make it up." Please just stop squirming and let him let this nice little volunteer girl take care of you, Dirk. You're worrying the fuck out of him.

The girl fiddled with the ends of her hair a bit.

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"Dirk!" He dropped into a crouch to keep from losing his grip on the Strider when he slipped unconscious again, set his jaw and shifted to pick him up again. He turned a stressed, apologetic look to the volunteer. She just smiled and lead him back to a small room with a white curtain drawn back before a sterile-looking twin bed against a wall.

"It's nothing fancy, but we're not a hospital. We're basically a high school nurse's office." She circled to her desk and pulled out a clipboard. "I take it you know him?"

"Yes," Jake answered, laying Dirk down on the bed and taking off his shoes. He gave her his name when she asked for it and she told him he could stay as long as he wanted, and brought him a chair. He thanked her and she scribbled down some information about Dirk that he rattled off-- not much, since he didn't really know much --and took his temperature. She left Jake with two glasses of cool but not cold water and told him to drink one and to give the other to Dirk when he woke up again, as well as a freezer packed pair of blueish pills to reduce his fever. When she left, Jake scrubbed his hand over his face and pulled out his phone to text Jade.

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He'd chatted with the volunteer girl a few times, but mostly spent his time texting his grandmother. She'd instructed him to bring Dirk home with him when he was awake enough, and they'd fix him right up. When Dirk woke and stared, Jake stared back.

"...hi," he said quietly.

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"If you try to get out of that bed I will legitimately sit on you," Jake warned, sitting up straighter between Dirk and the door. "You're not going anywhere, you're drinking this water and taking these pills and I'm taking you home and you're getting better before you go to work or school or anything else."

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And Jake knew he thought he was being reasonable. He sighed, reaching out to smooth Dirk's hair a little, helping him sit up steadily to give him the pills and the water.

"We'll see," he said quietly. "I can't go with you to class, and you sure as hell can't make it there on your own right now." He rubbed his thumb against Dirk's back. "...and to be honest I don't think you'd get good tips at work as you are."

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Jake was a little bit stung by that statement. He frowned, and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"No, I don't figure I would," he offered. "But I can still try to take care of the people I care about when they don't take care of themselves."

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Jake had about had enough of this.

"Dirk, you're running a hundred-degree fever and trying to scurry off to class to take a quiz that you can easily make up, and then go overexert yourself at your job. What part of that is taking care of yourself?" He was frustrated, and worried, and frankly kind of upset. His closest-- his only, really --friend was actually pretty sick, and was pretty much insisting on staying as such.

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He reached out and took Dirk's shoulder, forcing him to be angled toward him, if not looking at him.

"What part of you is too thick to understand that I will help you, Dirk?" He supposed he hadn't considered that Dirk didn't want the help.

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He recoiled only a little when Dirk smacked him away, staring at him in a wide-eyed alarm.

"...that's not what I meant," he said, looking away. He was being overbearing, wasn't he? Trying to take care of an adult who didn't need it. Trying to do things to keep people near him, and doing the exact opposite. He stopped talking, then, because anything else he was going to add would just make it worse.

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"Whoa," Jake said softly, taking Dirk's glasses and setting them beside him on the bed, scooting sideways to support Dirk. He had hoped as much, that Dirk was just tired and overworked and cranky, but he didn't want to think too wishfully and let himself down. That Dirk handed him his glasses was a glimmer of hope.

"I won't pay you for our relationship," Jake added after a moment. "Not even if you asked. But as your friend-- at least, I hope I can call you as much without you disagreeing --I would be more than happy to help you out, if taking a few days off from work and school for your health would put you in a place to need it." He reached his hand up and rubbed gently at the back of Dirk's neck. "I know how much pride you have as an independent person, but... Well, you can't really do much work if you kill yourself from not taking care of your health."

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Jake shifted, taking hold of Dirk with one arm to remove his sweater on the other half of his person, and then the other to take it off entirely. He wrapped it around Dirk's shoulders in hopes of ceasing, or at least comforting and lessening some of his trembling.

"I won't give it to you, then," he intoned. "But I will implore you to at least take the night off. Surely you can afford just that much. You can come stay at my grandmother's house, I'll drive you." He ducked his head down and pressed his lips to Dirk's forehead, burning beneath his touch. "Let me do that much for you."

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Dirk, do you really think Jake is going to judge you for a creepy puppet. The answer is he might judge you a little bit, but he won't say it out loud. He'll just have nightmares.

He skimmed his palm along Dirk's arm in a comforting gesture, hugging him close. He sighed a little in relief when Dirk conceded, resting his head atop the other's.

"You might be a touch small for my bedclothes," he said idly. "Would you want me to take you by your place so you can get some things?" This is your chance to bring Cal on a field trip and traumatize your fuckbuddy, Dirk.