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[shitknickers]

This is a generic Jakepost to reply to. Because the meme post was all Jake and has some inconceivable amount of comments now so it doesn't like to load. Have at, my lovelies.

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[shitknickers]

Jake flinched at that.

"But I'm--" he drew his shoulders up and tried not to feel nauseous at the words coming out of his mouth. "Dirk I'm a girl." No, he wasn't. No he wasn't! He could be whatever he wanted to be, whatever felt right. He wasn't a girl, he was a boy, he was just wrong, that's all, Dirk, you have to believe him.

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"Because," Jake said, pulling away a little. Now he was starting to get upset. It was a sort of belated reaction, but he mashed his hands into his face anyway. "Because they get in the way, and I don't want to be a girl."

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He tried to breathe normally, but he sort of hitched and wavered, instead.

"Gram used to say the same thing, that I could be whatever I wanted to be," he said, torn between curling into Dirk's chest despite being taller and pulling away to curl up on his own. He didn't know how to handle being held when he was upset, it had been so long. "I'm sorry, though."

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When Dirk put it that way it did sound pretty damn ridiculous. His face pulled funny and he pushed his glasses into his head, rubbing at his eyes. He hadn't fully started crying yet, but the thought was there.

"I guess I sorta am," he offered.

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He huddled in on himself, like maybe if he folded up small enough he could disappear. Or form a chrysalis, and when he broke out of it he'd be in the right body. He took a moment to busy himself with unlacing his boots, because he didn't wanna get dirt all over his bed.

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"I didn't want you to think I was avoiding contact because I didn't like you," came Jake's reply, quiet against his knees. "I just. You don't like girls."

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"Not the sort of like I meant," Jake supplied, and closed his eyes over, setting his head against Dirk's. He nodded. "Nothing like this feels okay."

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"Oh," Jake... hadn't really been sure what he'd been expecting, but he was reasonably certain this wasn't it. He bluescreened a little. "Um."

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He hunched himself up a little farther, burrowing backward into the jacket he wore with the sleeves rolled up. He tugged the neck of it up over his head like a hood.

"I dunno, I didn't really plan past here."

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Funny that it was Dirk's sweetness that made tears finally well up and ooze out of Jake's eyes, congesting his nose and making his breath seize up in his chest. He leaned sideways and buried his face in Dirk's chest, a long whine of a sound escaping him as he did so.

"You stinking nincompoop, why do you insist on being the sweetest thing whilst simultaneously the most arseholian gentleman I've ever had the full and complete pleasure of being friends with."

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The days he let himself actually think about it, yeah. Most days he didn't, because it was such a topic of upset, and there wasn't even really anyone to tell or help. And now suddenly Dirk knew, and it made Jake a little sick inside to know Dirk knew, but all the while he'd always wanted someone to know, because he felt like if someone knew he wasn't entirely alone in being wrong.

He quieted slowly, tired out and comfortable, in the barest sense of the word that he was warm and held by someone who cared. Comfortable was rarely a word he could use to describe himself.

[shitknickers]

Well if Dirk wanted a tearless journey, he was heading in the right direction with suggesting a movie. Jake sat back and smiled a bit, swiping the back of his hand over his eyes and shifting to stand.

"Movies are one thing I'm chock full of," he explained, shooting Dirk a halfhearted double pistols and a wink.