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If this was still allowed with Dirk having made the executive decision to break up, Jake supposed he was a little more okay with the set up. He didn't really know what he'd do if he weren't allowed to hug Dirk anymore. Feelings aside, Jake English was a hugger.

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Jake wouldn't have handled that terribly well, so he's pretty glad for this turnout. He's not taking it romantically, just laying there cradling his friend because they're both pretty in need of a hug after the shit they've put each other through. He closed his eyes over again, his head suddenly throbbing, and let himself drift off into something that might have resembled sleep.

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It took him a while, but Jake actually managed to pass right the hell out and sleep for a few hours, huddled there. When he woke up his glasses were smashed funny against his face and he sat up, stuttering blearily and reflexively pulling Dirk closer to him to preserve warmth.

"Didn't mean to nod off, there," he mumbled.

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What a fucking cutie. ...Not that Jake was making this assessment or anything, especially not with a sort of glum shame in the back of his mind because Dirk had always been cute, but the suddenness of not being able to act on it left a bit of a sickness in the pit of his stomach. But he passed it off as grogginess and cleared his throat, relatively happy to hunker back down into cuddles.

"...yeah," he offered blithely after a moment.

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Jake was quiet and still over the thought, pursing his lips after a moment and looking up at the now shadesless Strider.

"...I suppose maybe I'd like that," he offered, just as cautiously. "Maybe it's just the stress of our situation not allowing us to have the presence of mind for others, or something." Who was he kidding, he'd never had the presence of mind for others. He looked away from Dirk's eyes again, almost as quickly as he'd looked up.

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Before he had a chance to talk himself out of it, Jake shifted and craned his neck to tap his lips to Dirk's eyebrow, and then bury his face in his hair to avoid looking at him.

"I'm learning. Slowly, but it's happening."

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"I suppose that's accurate," he breathed. "It's presumptuous of me to assume I'm actually learning, given my track record with intelligence." He nosed Dirk's hair idly, trying to soothe him.

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"At a glacial pace," he muttered, resting his cheek in DIrk's hair. His tightened grip wasn't lost on Jake, but he didn't really know how he was meant to react.

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He stopped breathing for a second, bit his lip, and resumed bringing air to his lungs when he remembered to. His voice was hardly a whisper when he responded.

"You don't want me to respond to that," he offered.

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"Not for the reason you think, though," he said, tone relatively ambiguous.

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A sigh, and Jake shifted a little, sitting up and looking rather alarmingly worn and tired. It was a strange expression for him.

"I've never felt the way I do about you for another human being. Ever. You infuriate me, you drive me up the bloody wall and right back down, you're controlling and you're manipulative and I don't know the first thing about what you're ever thinking." He looked up from where he'd been spitting the scalding words into his lap, and fixed Dirk with a wholly confused expression, a little lost, and maybe marginally hurt in a strange, backwards kind of way. "But I've never loved someone the way I love you, Dirk. I've never been so happy to be around someone, to share space and breath and contact. You're overbearing and I didn't know how to tell you to let me be from time to time, but-- bloody fuck, mate, I'm straight-up arse over tea kettle for you for a reason I can't place quote or verbalize. I just wish I could figure out the proper balance to make this not a terrible train wreck of gangly teenager limbs and my horrid orthodontics."

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Now that he was through his ranting, and Dirk was stock still and ramrod straight, Jake deflated a little.

"...I told you you didn't want me to say anything," he offered meekly.

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That... had not been the reaction Jake had been anticipating. His breath caught, startled, and he reached out immediately to put a hand on Dirk's shaking shoulders.

"...bother, chap, this isn't what I meant to happen," he said, smoothing his other hand through Dirk's hair in an attempt to be soothing. "...Dirk..."

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