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[shitknickers]

Or, more to the point, a post for sad threads because I have so horribly many of them.

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[shitknickers]

He guessed that he'd never really cried like this before. Because he really didn't quite seem to notice the way he shook. He didn't actually make much sound beyond hitching, but he went boneless in Dirk's grip and cried for everything he was worth. It took him a long time to be able to inhale and not immediately shudder a sob to where he could actually talk.

"I don't-- I don't even know what to do," he admitted. "I wasn't prepared for-- for this, I can't, Dirk-- I can't--"

[shitknickers]

He gave in and hushed, just hitching again for a long while and shifting around in Dirk's grip. He hurt, and he had never hurt like this or been sad like this or felt so numb or empty in his life, and it was all disorienting and counteracting and everything was wrong, but Dirk was right. So he clung to the only thing that was still right in his world, and slowly wound down to where he was mostly still. He couldn't breathe through his nose so he turned his head to the side and rested against Dirk's shoulder, breathing through his mouth and trying to arrange his limbs and his mind and his emotions and mostly failing.

"Everything hurts," he admitted softly.

[shitknickers]

"Don't apologize," he offered after a moment. "I-- if you weren't here..." He really would be lost. He hugged the blonde's shoulders. Dirk had been fond of Jade, too. Jake knew that. They were friends, she'd nearly adopted him. He pressed his face into Dirk's shoulder. "...I'm sorry, I should have had you come out with us yesterday." Dirk didn't even really get to say goodbye.

[shitknickers]

It wouldn't have been dismissive, it would have been the truth. Jake knew how busy Dirk commonly kept himself-- otherwise his lack of sleep would catch up with him and he'd fall flat on his face. They both knew that. He sat away enough to rub at his face, and Bec wandered back into the room. The beastly dog immediately came to them and laid his head across their legs, looking up at them sadly.

"Can I ask for you to stay for a few days," he wondered, taking a moment to look at his knees before he looked up at Dirk.

[shitknickers]

"Sure," Jake intoned dully. "Keys are on the peg downstairs like always." And now they had two cars anyway. He sighed a touch, smoothing an eyebrow absently in thought. He was going to have to make a lot of phone calls.