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[shitknickers]

This is a generic Jakepost to reply to. Because the meme post was all Jake and has some inconceivable amount of comments now so it doesn't like to load. Have at, my lovelies.

Comments

well it is tagged 'hi ketsu'.

[shitknickers]

Jake was simultaneously ecstatic and nervous as hell. Jade was chill as fuck as far as guardians went, and she'd told Jake of her reservations regarding Jake seeing someone with a lifestyle like Dirk's, but that she trusted his judgement. So he just... Had to get it over and done with.

He showed up at the library in another hoodie and pair of shorts, hands jammed in his pockets. One of his boots was partially untied.

"Ready, then, chap?"

never

[shitknickers]

The ride back to the house was spent in relative silence on Jake's part, though not uncomfortably. He was focused on driving, and thinking, and when he came to a stop in the drive of a sprawling, if unconventionally-designed house, he paused with his hand on the gear shift to look at Dirk.

"Erm, she's making a beef stew, and obviously one of her pies," he offered lightly. "But she's a wicked genius at whipping things up quick if that poses a problem."

The house itself was... large, to say the least. Granted a good part of it was also a laboratory for the various things Jade did for her various jobs and endeavors. It also looked rather mismatched, a hodgepodge of design styles and architectures. To the left of where Jake had parked his Jeep was a small black sedan that appeared to be covered in some form of glitter that made it look rather uncannily like space. There was a six-spoke spiral design on the roof of the car in white, and the license plates read "SPACEWITCH".

When they got inside, Jake made a point of keeping Dirk near the door and behind him for a good handful of seconds, a hand outstretched to keep him where he was while he appeared to listen for something. When a great thundering of what sounded unmistakably like paws came from somewhere down the hall, he moved forward and held both his arms out to the sides, crouching a little.

"Come at me, devilbeast!" he cried, as a rather alarmingly enormous, fluffy white wolfhound bounded down the main hall at him. With it, the dog took the running rug, and probably some of the floor finish. As the dog bowled Jake over and he proceeded to have a wrestling match to make Mike Tyson jealous with it, an older, but by no means handicapped woman turned the corner with a tutting sound at the boy and the dog.

"Becquerel what have I told you about kicking up the rug? Jeez." She nudged it back into place as she came down the hall, smiling past the writhing mass of boy and dog to Dirk. "I'd recommend stepping past them while Jake has him occupied, he's rather affectionate with new people."

[papping]

Well, Jake was laughing pretty much the entire damn time, so at least he seemed to be a friendly giant lunging dog. Or maybe Jake was just insane. Perhaps a little of both.

Jade smiled at Dirk ducking behind her, warm and with no teeth shown. She was taller than Dirk, but by barely an inch. She had been tall in her prime, nearing 5'7", but had lost inches to age. She turned to face him, giving him a slow once-over. She was lighter-skinned than Jake, but not by a whole lot. She still held a good amount of the same natural tan her grandson did, though spotted in places and wrinkled. She wore no jewelry save for a simple chain around her neck with a round, silver pendant with an orange spirograph design on it. She held out a hand to Dirk.

"Naturally, you must be Dirk Strider." She was still smiling, but her head was tilted and one eyebrow was raised, making it look more like a smirk. She had a bit of sass to her, even as an old woman.

[papping]

"Jade Harley-English," she corrected. "You can just call me Jade, if you'd like." Her grip on his hand was surprisingly firm until he let go, and she nodded. "Good to meet you, as well." Interesting was a good word for Jade. She had seen more than most, and got on just fine for it. She followed Dirk's line of sight back over to Jake and Bec, who were now laying in a pile with Bec on his back with his feet in the air and Jake laying on his stomach atop the dog. Bec's tongue was lolled out of his mouth as though he were playing dead, and Jake appeared to have 'conquered him'. Jake looked up and afforded Dirk a winning smile, his glasses knocked askew.

"Winning," he cried jubilantly.

[papping]

The dog rolled over and Jake got to his feet, setting his hand palm-down atop Bec's head and ruffling him gently. He said something under his breath, to the dog, whose attention seemed to have shifted to Dirk. He sat himself down neatly by the door and watched the Strider, head tilted curiously. Jade brought her hands together in front of her and tutted softly.

"Well, dinner's almost ready. Jake, why don't you show Dirk around the house in the meantime?"

[shitknickers]

Jade wandered past Jake and slowly eased herself into a crouch in front of Bec, grabbing loosely at the tufts of fur on either side of his face and muttering on a gooery voice, good dog, best friend until Jake laughed, moving away toward Dirk. He held out an arm for Dirk to take.

"Grand tour, then? We've probably got about ten minutes."

[shitknickers]

"The sitting room is off-limits for you two's elicit activities!" Jade called after them, laughing. Jake turned a funny shade of pinkish tan, hunching his shoulders as he lead Dirk through the house. He showed him the kitchen, which was modest and looked sort of like an old 50s diner, but with a futuristic line of appliances, the aforementioned sitting room, which had a small upright piano in it and a few chairs, along with a fancy old couch (which probably explained the reason for it being off-limits), and a set of staircases, one leading up and one leading down. He continued past them to show Dirk a study lined with bookshelves, most of which were covered in books about sciences and space, with a modest collection of what could be assumed were Jake's own archaeology books, and two computers. The final room on the main level had a large L-shaped couch in the corner facing a television, and an alarmingly vast collection of DVD titles. On an end table there was a green laptop with a skull design on it that was pretty obviously Jake's. He spent most of his time at home here.

Shrugging his shoulders, he turned to Dirk.

"Upstairs are the bedrooms, mine and gram's and a guest room. Downstairs is a small shooting range, and the way across to gram's labs. I'll leave her to showing you those, if you want."

[shitknickers]

"Gram makes a lot of money," Jake offered sheepishly. "She wanted to make sure we were comfortable-- and Becquerel sort of counts as a third person anyway, you've seen how big he is." His hands went to the pockets of his shorts and he rocked forward onto his toes, then back in a sort of nervous gesture.

"Chow's up, boys!" Jade called from down the hall, and the sound of Bec's claws hitting the hardwood floor could be heard as he plodded into the kitchen. Jake glanced at Dirk and offered him a hand.

[shitknickers]

A chuckle, and Jake met Dirk's lips halfway. He shook his head and kept his fingers laced with Dirk's to lead him back to the kitchen, smiling the entire way.

"There will be plenty of time for that later," he scolded lightly.

As they came into the kitchen, Jade buzzed past them with a funny little headset on. Atop it was a pair of fuzzy white ears, vaguely feline in appearance. She turned and smiled at them, and they perked straight upward.

"Aww, aren't you cute," she teased, ushering them into their chairs. Dirk's was farthest from where Bec had seated himself in front of a dish of his own, with both Jake and Jade between he and the dog. She'd gotten the impression he was a little intimidated by him. "Sit, sit, the pie's baking. Dirk, how-- ah, is it all right if I call you Dirk? --how much do you eat, though? There's plenty."

[shitknickers]

Jake snorted softly.

"He means that, too. Don't let his size fool you, he puts away as much if not more food than I do." Jade whistled, and came out with steaming bowls of stew for both boys, good-sized and full. She then brought a smaller dish out with some for Bec, who had remarkable table manners for being a dog.

"Well, good, I'll send him home with some of the leftovers when he goes," she said lightly. She glanced upward at Dirk's question. "Ah, these? Necomimi. They read brainwaves and react to your mood. For work," she offered all of this easily, like it were completely normal, and went back to get herself a bowl of stew. Jake leaned sideways.

"Gram does like sixty bajillion things for about as many companies," he explained. "One of which is a company that creates things based on brainwaves and overall neurological response."

[shitknickers]

The ears on Jade's head perked up again when Dirk asked if he could take a look. She smiled broadly.

"Of course you can! I can't show you all of what I do since some of it is still confidential research bluh bluh huge important secret stuff bluh, but I can show you most of my lab after dinner, if you'd like." She glanced at Jake. "Unless you had plans?" Jake snickered into his spoonful of stew, shaking his head.

"I see Dirk at school and at other times, gram, you can show him all you like of your work. I'll keep Bec company."

[papping]

Jade laughed at that, though more at the color Jake's face turned than the comment itself.

"Keep him," she suggested, waving with her spoon and going back to her stew. Jake spluttered.

[papping]

Jake busied himself with his stew to stay out of this conversation, red-faced and embarrassed, though he was quietly pretty glad to hear that out of Dirk. As was Jade, it seemed, because she grinned and waved her spoon about.

"This isn't the half of if," she said. "You should come over for dinner more often, I'll wow the pants right off of you." He paused, tapping her spoon to her lips. "Which I suppose would make you two's lives a little easier, now wouldn't it." Jade stop being a creepy lewd old woman, wow.